Trigger Warning: Mentions of abuse and sexual assault.
I can’t believe this needs to be said but “pro choice” means just that, pro choice. I am not for or against abortion. I am in favour of people being able to make decisions regarding their own body independently. To me, a forced pregnancy is equivalent to a forced organ donation. I do not claim that I would never have an abortion because I have never been in that situation.
I also have PCOS which greatly reduces my fertility and I have not had sex since 2020 so a fear of pregnancy is the last thing on my mind. But I have basic empathy and so I wholeheartedly support those of my peers who need an abortion.
The Pro “Life” Movement
The problem with the pro life movement is that it is filled with people who have the privilege to have never been put into a position where they truly needed an abortion. And yes, I understand that there are single mums and victims of sexual assault who are pro life but those individuals still had enough resources to either support an unwanted pregnancy or never had to deal with one. As for pro lifers who claim to have been turned into a pro lifer after having an abortion themselves, to them I recommend therapy. And when I am feeling unkind, I say they are hypocrites.
I have heard enough stories from Planned Parenthood employees to know that there are plenty of pro lifers who protest someone else’s right to practice bodily autonomy and yet have an abortion themselves. It is easy to be against abortion when you don’t have to face the consequences. It is easy to perceive yourself as morally superior for not having an abortion when you have never been put in the position where a pregnancy would destroy your life. When the idea of going through with a pregnancy is so abhorrent, you would rather die.
A Fetus Is Not A Baby No Matter How Loud You Say It
I don’t care if you think abortion is murder in the same way that I wouldn’t care if someone told me that I was murdering their child by not donating my kidney. People have a right to their own body and nothing, not even committing the “horrible sin” of sex is enough to justify taking away a person’s right to their own body.
I also don’t care that you think a fetus is a life / baby / human being (whatever you call it). It’s simply not. If you looked at cake batter while it was still in liquid form and called it a cake, you would be laughed at. And yet, we humour people who call a bunch of cells, that have functions similar to organs, a baby. It is not a baby. If it was already a baby at conception, there would be no need for a nine month pregnancy.
According to the CDC, over 90% of abortions happen at or before 13 weeks. If it turned into a baby at 13 weeks, pregnancy would not take 36 weeks. If a baby formed that early, a baby coming a few weeks early wouldn’t be the cause for a panic. In fact, mothers would be rushing to get induced after 13 weeks.
It is just cells. Sure, when people are going through wanted pregnancies, they may name it and call it their baby but in reality it’s not a baby until it can survive outside the womb. The whole point of pregnancy is to create a human life. The body knows when a baby has been made because that’s when the body decides to push it out into the world (usually).
(No, I am not suggesting that women wait until just before birth to have an abortion because no one does that. According to statistics, most people decide fairly early on. And abortions that happen later on in pregnancy almost always happen with babies that are wanted. Those abortions happen because either the foetus is not viable or the mother’s life is in danger).
If We’re Forcing Pregnancies, We May As Well Mandate Organ Donations
A foetus has even less value than the child who needs an organ. If we are going to start banning abortions to “save” human life, we should also have mandatory organ donations. After all, children deserve a chance at life and we all know just how much pro lifers care about the precious children.
“But Meem, pregnancy can’t happen without two people having sex. Surely if someone is consenting to sex, they are consenting to pregnancy. They can’t just change their mind and back out.” By that logic, a person who used any form of contraception would be revoking consent to pregnancy. Or if you think choosing to have sex means choosing to “accept the consequences” then anyone who crossed the road or drove consents to being in an accident. After all, you can’t have a road accident if people don’t use the road. (Just like how you can’t get pregnant if you don’t have sex).
It’s A Double Standard
Men don’t have to take any responsibility for having sex. There are no laws mandating a man must pay half of all costs related to pregnancy and labour. Men really only have to take responsibility after the child is born. And plenty of deadbeats successfully avoid that responsibility as well.
Women not only have to take on the financial burden of pregnancy and labour but they also risk their health, livelihood and happiness. Pregnancy may be natural but there is a heavy price to pay for the one creating that baby. In some cases, it is life-threatening. And yet, politicians have no trouble mandating women go through this torture (regardless of whether they actually consented to sex or not) while ignoring the role the man has to play in this.
No One Uses Abortion As A Contraceptive Method
Abortions are often expensive and uncomfortable. No one is out there having abortions for the fun of it unless they are severely mentally ill. In which case, don’t ban abortions, admit them to a mental institution so they can be treated. Instead of focusing all of this time on taking away women’s right to bodily autonomy, let’s start doing things that reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancies.
- Sex education and easy access to contraception: When people are educated on safe sex practices (pull out is never an option unless you want a baby) and have easy access to contraception, abortion rates decline dramatically. And you may protest because you don’t want your kids to have sex but here’s the thing, your kids will have sex regardless. And I’d rather have a sexually active teenager than a pregnant one. At least if people are educated on the risks and have safeguards against pregnancy and STIs, they’ll be able to practice sex safely.
- Maternity and paternity leave: In today’s economy, one income is not enough to support a household. And for many couples, taking time off for pregnancy is not a viable solution.
- Affordable childcare: For many people, quitting your job and becoming a stay at home parent is cheaper than childcare. But considering our capitalist society requires two incomes for many households to function, quitting your job isn’t a reasonable option. By making childcare more affordable, more people would want to have kids.
- Justice for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault: The justice systems fails victims. Even with proof, perpetrators are unlikely to face jailtime and when they do, it is short. Many victims end up having to share custody with their abusers. If I am completely honest with you, as someone who was abused her whole life, if I fell pregnant at the hands of my abuser, I’d have an abortion. I would make no attempts to fight for custody. I’ve heard enough horror stories and seen the justice system in action first hand. I know I will be forced back into my abuser’s life and I would rather never have children than raise a child in the environment I grew up in.
The above steps will greatly reduce the rate of abortion. However, there will still be those who choose to have an abortion. I am fully in support of those people. People are always allowed to practice their bodily autonomy. And though I am an organ donor myself, I would never try to force others to donate their organs. So, it goes without saying that I would never try to force someone to go through with a pregnancy.
Final Thoughts
Banning abortion will not prevent it. Contrary to what pro life propaganda would have you believe, people have abortions because they need one. Banning it will only cause women to risk their own lives attempting to get one. In fact, I would not be surprised if rape victims started getting locked up for the murder or attempted murder of their rapist. I have seen many women express the idea that if the punishment for having an abortion is harsher than the punishment for committing rape and equivalent to having an abortion, they are willing to take one for the team.
I believe them. As a victim of abuse and sexual assault myself, I can tell you that anger goes hand in hand with trauma. I have thankfully never been in such a dark place. But if I was pregnant with my rapist’s child and abortion was inaccessible to me, I would not be able to assure my morality.
So if you are expecting abortion bans to bring new humans into the world, you are mistaken. If anything, the population is likely to decrease as now actual human beings will be taking their lives.
